"Nobody sits on porches anymore," I've heard more than a few people, including myself, complain. "Nobody knows their own neighbors." "People don't trust each other." "No one cares about this town." "Local politics are a joke." Some people, particularly those of use who did grow up in small, tight-knit towns, sigh these statements occasionally in passing. "It's a shame, really," we think. But for all our sighs, we seem to think that these evidences of community deterioration are inevitable, unstoppable, natural progressions, and we ignore or justify our own role in said deterioration. Why? In my opinion, there are three reasons:
1. We don't realize the consequences of seemingly innocent individual actions on the larger community.
2. We don't immediately feel or recognize the results of a weakened community.
3. We value our own convenience and well-being over that of our family and/or community. Ouch.
After reading a book I bought my mother for Christmas (don't say you never do that) about the Amish, I've realized that if we truly believe in the importance of a strong community for us and our family, we should allow the health of our community (or our family, for that matter), to become a priority to us personally - that is, enough to influence our daily decisions. Because communities are often subjective, ill-defined and non-concrete, we may be tricked into believing that the health of a community is subjective and no concrete action on our individual part is required to maintain them. We are, in fact, neglecting a living thing.
The Amish are a beautiful example of people who make concrete, daily decisions for the benefit of their communities, and the results are astounding. The Amish form tight-knit but welcoming communities where everyone is known and looked out for. The small family farm environments encourage people to visit one another and exchange information, resources, and emotional, mental, financial, and physical support. The lack of materialism and religious values among the Amish promote reciprocity, and so they often donate time, an extra hand, or a hot meal to a neighbor in need, knowing that they themselves may have such a need someday.
In the 1920s, when telephone use became very widespread, the Amish decided as a community that they would not have telephones in their houses. They didn't want to risk the technology replacing the regular human interaction that fortified their lives. They can still use phones, but they are often located outdoors in an unheated shed or down the street and shared with several families. ERGO - they make a sacrifice of personal convenience in order to strengthen their community. The Amish don't find it pleasant to do without convenience. They simply decide that it is worth it. And indeed it is: one study found that compared with women in the general population, Amish women experienced less stress, fewer symptoms of depression, and better mental health. They reported low levels of domestic violence, high levels of social support, and had high fertility with fewer preterm babies (Miller K, Yost B, Flaherty S, Hillemeier MM, Chase GA, Weisman CS, Dyer AM).
While we may not have to sacrifice phones and cars, we have to recognize that our communities and families (and by logical implication, us individually) will only thrive if we are willing to sacrifice. Just as an environmentalist may encourage you to inconvenience yourself with a walk to save carbon emissions, I encourage you to walk in order to connect with the people who live on your street. The results of such actions, over time, will be worth it, even if it means missing your tv show or your nap today. Sacrifice should be expected, but the paradoxical return, as manifested by the Amish, is that such sacrifice for strong families and communities does in fact lead to greater individual well-being and satisfaction. Simply put, where family and communities are concerned, the investment is worth it.
Health status, health conditions, and health behaviors among Amish women. Results from the Central Pennsylvania Women's Health Study (CePAWHS). Womens Health Issues. 2007 May-Jun; 17(3): 162-71. Epub 2007 Apr 24
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17459726
LOVED this! I'm going to have to find that book. Xan and I talk about the whole woman's issue thing all the time. The modern woman shuts herself away from other women in so many ways. She doesn't want help, she never sees another woman in the nude except on magazines which cycles all the body issues... especially after child birth (often even breastfeeding is kept hidden from other women), she wants her own kitchen, she wants her own space, she wants to raise her own children with her own methods. There is no room for community, only materialism and her own way. I loved the statistics you wrote about Amish women. I think it reflects a lot about how we, as women, are meant to be: a social network deeper than just once a month visiting teaching and meals when the sign up sheet is sent around. It reflects the true spirit of the Relief Society. :) Now I need to practice what I just wrote. Easier said then done, right?
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